Over the weekend I finished another great book by John Ortberg, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them. The book focuses on community and overcoming our flaws and differences so we can form the life-changing relationships God designed and desires for us.

My favorite line in the book is “I’m somebody’s porcupine.” It served as a great summary to a section on a problem called the Porcupine’s Dilemma: How do you get close without getting hurt? The dilemma is named after the quill-covered rodent because when they fall in love, there’s a small window of opportunity and it closes quickly; once it’s closed, if the male approaches a female, it’s extremely likely he’ll be struck with some prickly quills.

The dilemma is not just one of a porcupine, though, as humans suffer from the same problem. We want to get close to others (not necessarily physically close), but we don’t want to get hurt. Inevitably, though, we are injured with barbs like resentment, contempt, envy and rejection.

The remainder of the book’s pages describe how we can get close to others without getting hurt, covering topics like authenticity, acceptance, conflict and empathy. I recommend that everyone read this book because, whether you realize it or not, you are somebody’s porcupine. Unlike the porcupine, though, our window of opportunity to become close with others is large, and this book can help prevent us from feeling the horrible sting of a porcupine’s attack.